if and when

http://www.washingtoninjuryattorneyblog.com/2009/12/sammamish_woman_killed_seattle.html

I didn't know her. I know several people that knew her. Her boyfriend was my favorite actor in the production of Twelfth Night that I saw last year...

I didn't know her.

I don't want anybody to learn my name from an article about my death. I want to meet them all, now. Seems like lately I've been getting too many reminders of the brevity of life.

So... drive safely, kids. I can't wait to come home.

I need to... BE.

Random Courtney Fact #1: I don't like classic Hanes underwear. The elastic strap's too thick.

I look forward to home. But I am also constantly bombarded with the idea of HOME. Where do I want to live for the rest of my life? What kind of community raises the healthiest, smartest, kindest, brightest children? What kind of community raises the best me?

If the face of the earth is a bed of soil, and we are all plants, where is the most fertile? Do we need places we can stretch out our roots, or places where our shoots and leaves can tangle with our neighbors, until we become one giant tree of life?

Random Courtney Fact #2: I think about what it means to Grow Up every single day of my life.

How does a person Be Herself? Everything she does is herself. It's literally impossible for her to not be herself. I think what they mean is, you should do what you love, without worrying about the people around you. If you move with confidence, maybe they'll love it too. And if they don't, that doesn't really matter so much. Not a lot is worth the smothering of a passion. Of course these words don't mean a lot unless you know firsthand, in your soul, what they mean. I guess all one accomplishes by saying them is that when another finally does get it, they can look around and maybe feel less isolated. The true Peer Pressure is invisible - you don't even know that you're bending under it, until it's gone, and you're alone. But happier.

This is an old revelation. But it becomes new every day.

I am not unique.

Where are you happiest?

Me, probably... Lying on the ground, looking at the stars. Remembering now and forever that there is MORE. Poor Atheist me is so self-centered that sometimes I forget.

My head is the mouth of a river. But so is yours.